Az élet értelme (1983) 79% 86★

New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
Obstretrician: I think it's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?

Zulu War Soldier: Here is better than home, eh, sir? I mean, at home if you kill someone they arrest you, here they'll give you a gun and show you what to do, sir. I mean, I killed fifteen of those buggers. Now, at home they'd hang me, here they'll give me a fucking medal, sir."

Gaston: You see that? That's where I was born. You know, one day my mother, she put me on her knees and she said to me, „Gaston, my son, the world is a beautiful place. You must go into it and love everyone, try to make everyone happy and bring peace and contentment everywhere you go”. And so I became a waiter… Well, it's not much of a philosophy, I know. [pauses, looks offended] Well, fuck you. I can live my own life in my own way if I want to. Fuck off. [begins to walk away in disgust] Don't come following me.

Harry Blackitt: Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
Mrs. Blackitt: What are we dear?
Harry Blackitt: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
Mrs. Blackitt: Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
Harry Blackitt: Because… every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
Mrs. Blackitt: But it's the same with us, Harry.
Harry Blackitt: What do you mean?
Mrs. Blackitt: Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.
Harry Blackitt: That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.
Mrs. Blackitt: Really?
Harry Blackitt: Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
Mrs. Blackitt: What, you mean… lock the door?
Harry Blackitt: No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
Mrs. Blackitt: What d'you mean?
Harry Blackitt: I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you…
Mrs. Blackitt: Oh, yes, Harry.
Harry Blackitt: …and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure… that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
Mrs. Blackitt: Ooh.
Harry Blackitt: That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas…
[sniff]
Harry Blackitt: … and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
Mrs. Blackitt: You what?
Harry Blackitt: French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
Mrs. Blackitt: Have you got one?
Harry Blackitt: Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
Mrs. Blackitt: Well, why don't you?
Harry Blackitt: But they – Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.

Chaplain: Let us praise God. O Lord…
Congregation: O Lord…
Chaplain: …Ooh, You are so big…
Congregation: …ooh, You are so big…
Chaplain: …So absolutely huge.
Congregation: …So absolutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and…
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fantastic.
Humphrey: Amen.
Congregation: Amen.

Father: [singing] Every sperm is sacred/Every sperm is great/If a sperm is wasted/God gets quite irate.

Father: The mill's closed. There's no more work. We're destitute.
Children: Ohhhhh.
Father: I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments.

Ainsworth: During the night, old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of… off.
Dr. Livingstone: Ah, been in the wars, have we?
Perkins: Yes.
Dr. Livingstone: Ah, any headache? Bowels all right? Hm. Well, let's have a look at this „one leg” of yours, then, eh? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes…
[Pokes the stump with his pipe]
Dr. Livingstone: Yes yes. Yes, well, this is nothing to worry about.
Perkins: Oh, good.
Dr. Livingstone: Yes, there's a lot of it around, probably a virus. Keep warm, plenty of rest, and if you're playing football or anything, try and favor the other leg.

Ainsworth: Well, the thing is, Sergeant, I have got a bit of a problem here. One of the officers has lost a leg.
Soldier: Oh, no, sir.
Ainsworth: I'm afraid so. Probably a tiger.
Soldier: In Africa?
Ainsworth: The MO says we can stitch it back on if we find it immediately.
Soldier: Right, sir. I'll organize a party. Right away, sir.
Ainsworth: Well, it's hardly the time for that, is it, Sergeant?
Soldier: A search party.
Ainsworth: Ah, ah… much better idea.

[Large corporate boardroom filled with suited executives]
Exec #1: Item six on the agenda: „The Meaning of Life” Now uh, Harry, you've had some thoughts on this.
Exec #2: Yeah, I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts. One: People aren't wearing enough hats. Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this „soul” does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia.
Exec #3: What was that about hats again?
Exec #2: Oh, Uh… people aren't wearing enough.
Exec #1: Is this true?
Exec #4: Certainly. Hat sales have increased but not pari passu, as our research…
Exec #3: [Interrupting] „Not wearing enough”? enough for what purpose?
Exec #5: Can I just ask, with reference to your second point, when you say souls don't develop because people become distracted…
[looking out window]
Exec #5: Has anyone noticed that building there before?