The 4:30 Movie (2024) 60% 1★

Brian: Do you wanna go to the movies with me today? You can…You can totally say no.
Melody: Okay.
Brian: Uh, s-seriously?
Melody: Mm-hmm.
Brian: Uh, hold on one second…Cool.
Melody: Yeah, anything but „Poltergeist 2.”
Brian: Uh, because Tobe Hooper didn't direct?
Melody: Who?
Brian: The guy who directed „The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” He made the first „Poltergeist” even though most people think it was Spielberg.
Melody: You sure know a lot about movies. But I can't see „Poltergeist 2” with you because I'm supposed to go with my mom.
Brian: Your mom? Why?
Melody: Oh, first one's like her favorite movie ever. She says it's because she likes ghost stories, but I know she's lying.
Brian: Why would your mom lie about „Poltergeist?”
Melody: My aunt was drunk one night and she said that when my mom was in eighth grade, she went to the school dance with the guy who plays the dad in „Poltergeist.” So that's why she likes the movie so much.
Brian: Oh, my gosh. She probably gave Craig T. Nelson a hand job.
Melody: I'd be so mad you said that right now if I wasn't so impressed you remember the guy's name. You sure know a lot about movies.

Brian: Morning, Cookie.
Cookie: Mr. B.D. Uh, you on the schedule today?
Brian: Nope. I'm gonna go sit on the dock and read the new Starlog, then I'm going to the movies.
Cookie: Man, you and your movies. Shit's not real, you know. Like that movie E.T.? That never happened. That movie Conan? Never happened. That movie Gandhi? Shit never happened.
Brian: I'm pretty sure Gandhi happened.
Cookie: Well, that shit happened for three hours, so I stopped watching it…You heard that new Run-D.M.C. album?
Brian: Fresh.
Cookie: Super fresh, right? Chilly most.
Brian: Gandhi definitely happened.
Cookie: It didn't happen!
Brian: No, it definitely happened.
Cookie: Star Wars did!

Burny: That car blows.
Brian: No way! It's like a Batmobile.
Burny: Who cares? „Batman” 's a stupid old TV show.
Brian: I read in „Starlog”, they said they're gonna make a new Batman movie.
Burny: It'll flop. Nobody's ever gonna pay to see a Batman movie.

Stank: Hell is for pussies.

Burny: That slasher isn't fit to wipe the blood off the blades of Leatherface, Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger.
Brian: You haven't even seen the movie yet, Judge Wapner.
Burny: I don't need to see the movie, 'cause I'm the greatest horror movie expert you've ever met. Stupid piece of shit.
Brian: Question for the expert. Who wins in a fight between Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, and Michael Myers?
Burny: My man, Jason Voorhees.
Brian: The correct answer to the question „Who wins in a fight between Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, and Michael Myers?” is…the audience! We all win. Idiot.

Burny: I can drive a car at 17 and join the army, but I gotta wait till I'm 18 to see rated R movies. Might as well live in Russia.

Emo: You know anything about Star Wars?
Brian: I know everything about Star Wars.
Emo: You do? So then you know everything about Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative, the Star Wars program?
Brian: Oh, um, what? I thought you meant…
Emo: Oh, oh, you thought I meant that excruciating space opera. No, thank you. You know, I thank our nonexistent God every day that there will never be another Star Wars movie made. We're… we're at the end of Star Wars. You know what I mean? W…what would they do next? Go back and start telling us episode one, two, and three? Can you imagine if they were like, „Let's break it up into little TV series”? Pfft. Yeah, right! I mean, you gotta be out of your mind. Like, „We wanna follow some side stories of small characters.” Like, „Oh, I wonder what Boba Fett's doing. I wanna invest my time in that.”