Kiemelt értékelések
Szórakoztató ember és érti a közönségét,viszont számomra párszor illetlen dolgokból csinált viccet,rémesen túl is nyújtva,túljátszva azokat.Ettől eltekintve voltak jól működő poénok és az előadásmódra sem panaszkodom.
Népszerű idézetek
I had a huge problem when I was ten. I thought I was gay, you know. I was wrong, but I thought, at ten, because I was obsessed with Leonardo DiCaprio, I was in love, yes. I was into girls too, but I'm from Staten Island, and in 2002, no girl was hotter than Leonardo DiCaprio in Staten Island. What a piece of ass he was, oh my God. He still gets pussy today based off what he looked like in 2002.
She looks at me, goes, „What's wrong?” I go, „Nothing.” And then she says, „No, what's wrong?” I guess she noticed I looked a little gay. And I go, „I think I'm gay.” And she goes, „Are you tired?” And I go, „No, I'm just… I don't think sleeping fixes homosexuality.” Imagine if it did? Imagine if gays are just tired. Elton John must be exhausted.
And then a week went by, and I went on the Make-A-Wish website, and the kid was still alive. Started to get a little nervous, you know what I mean? I don't know who this kid knows. So I called up the foundation to check up on him, you know. Make sure no miracles are afoot. Hey, I held up my end! I was promised a dead child! I'm tired of people lying to me! So I call up the fucking Make-A-Liars.
They go, „Oh, Pete, Kevin was just telling us what a wonderful time he had with you.” I go, „I had a great time too.” "He said, yeah, you really shared a lot." I go, „Oh, fuck, did he?” I guess pinky promise means dick to Kevin.
He goes, „Bro, she was deemed unfit to stand trial.” […] I immediately felt insulted. It's a little fucked up, don't you think? That's embarrassing for me, don't you think? „Deemed unfit?” I don't think you understand how insane that is. Let me put it in perspective for you. Jeffrey Dahmer was deemed to stand trial. A guy who murdered and ate gay people. One chick is into me, off to the nuthouse!
He goes, „You don't want her arrested?” I go, „No.” He goes, „That's very noble of you.” I went, „Thank you, sir.” And then he goes, „We will do plan B, then.” And he just smacks the hammer, and I was like, „Whoah, wait, what's plan B?” He goes, „Oh, it's nothing. We're gonna sentence her to, like, six months in a mental rehab facility.” I was like, what? That's not safe. That's like the one place I'd bump into her.
